Which Presidential Candidate Is Most Like Jesus?

I’m not a religious type of guy, but when I was out running today, I started thinking about some religious people I know and some of the comments they’ve made about the different candidates for president in this election. I know that for some of them, in some way I may not understand, their religion may be a major factor in who they will vote for or have voted for. One big reason why I don’t understand is because the candidates they like, either by their acts or by what they say, seem to not display the characteristics that one would normally consider to be exemplary of a person of faith. But I guess the people I know are willing to overlook this situation because those candidates say they’re religious or mention god periodically whenever they speak publicly.

Well I don’t think it’s a good idea to vote for a candidate just because they say they’re religious; I think the candidate should actually personify the ideals of your religion. For Christian religions, which we would be made to believe represent a large portion of the United States, the standard that is held above all others, the standard by which one can really judge a person, would be Jesus, right? As I’ve heard people, and seen T-shirts, say, “What would Jesus do?” The implication is that if you are in a situation and act in the same way Jesus would, then you are AOK.

So I thought to myself, “Well, which candidate is most like Jesus?” The answer seemed pretty clear to me. Let me give you a few hints:
1. He wants to kick usurers out of the temple.
2. He wants sick people—all sick people—to have access to healing.
3. He preaches acceptance of all types of people and welcomes them to his movement.
4. He’s rebelling against an unpopular, some say oppressive, establishment.
5. The Pope likes him.
6. He’s Jewish.